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This post was originally going to be about the concept of saying no, but in titling it I was reminded that a few days ago Will, Maca (our "cultural mentor" here in La Serena), and I went to see a movie in "the mall". The film was called, "No," and it focuses on the advertising campaign that helped urge the public to vote against Pinochet, the dictator. I liked it overall, despite the dizzying film style that was very headache-inducing. It was a powerful piece, and there remarkably little bias given its topic. There were a few times when everybody in the theater laughed at some joke that went over my head, but I understood the vast majority of what was going on (which I found impressive!).

Back to my musings on the general concept of "no," though. During the whirlwind that was orientation, Jeff explained that Chileans don't like to say no.

Now, I also don't like to say no. One of my friends has joked that she could hold a workshop for me so that I could learn to say no and practice doing so. However, I do say no sometimes. If it makes me uncomfortable to say yes, or if there's no honest way I could say yes, then I won't.

It's a little different here. Jeff told us that Chileans will go to great lengths to avoid saying no, in general. He gave us great examples, but as per usual, I forgot exactly what they were.

Here are two examples (based off of Jeff's, I think...):

• Let's assume you asked someone to send you something and were asking if it was ready. If it wasn't ready, they would not admit it. Instead, they might say, "yes, of course, I'll send it al tiro." For those who don't know, al tiro means immediately. However, this phrase doesn't mean that they are actually about to send you something. It could indicate that they'll send it along in five minutes, an hour, or possibly days.
• You are trying to find xxxx and ask a Chilean for directions. They don't know where it is, but direct you anyway. (this could be based off of one of Jeff's examples, or I could just be basing it off of my experience getting lost today. see next post for details!)

I think the cultural significance of this is profound. At the core of this aversion to saying no is the desire to not disappoint. This can be understood in multiple ways. Some might see this desire for harmony as evidence for a culture of people who want to avoid disagreement, and therefore negative judgement. It represents a conformist attitude, demonstrating that there is more emphasis on and value for collective views rather than individual opinions.

However, I think that while there is certainly some truth to that outlook, the "no" aversion at its root implies a high level of social awareness - a value for other people's feelings that I don't notice as much in the US culture. I choose to take this positive attitude toward this sometimes frustrating cultural habit because that's what my experience here so far has led me to believe. So many people, ranging from my host mom to the man I sat next to on the micro (bus), genuinely care about whether I like their city, whether I've been making friends, and whether I'm finding it hard to adjust. I find that in the US there's an overemphasis on the individual - so many people are just looking out for themselves. Chilean culture has much more value on interpersonal relations, which is refreshing.


((After having seen No, I'm more aware of the massive cultural statement that the vote against Pinochet represented.))

Edit:
I found this article interesting.